Today my heart has been more grateful and less sorrowful as I think about all of the lives Jeff touched.
There are so many people that I want to thank just because I am so grateful. Everyone who has participated on this website - thank you, Jeff would have dug this.
Everyone that attended the memorial in honor of Jeff - thank you for showing up, I think that Jeff was happy to see you there.
To all of Jeff's friends in Colorado, especially Kay, thank you for remembering Jeff. He spoke of you often. I know you all had a really great time together.
For everyone in NYC that supported Jeff and his family thank you. This includes his coworkers at Lehman Brothers and the many friends that he made there.
There are many people that I haven't thought to thank but I am pretty tenacious and if it comes to me I will!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Happy Birthday Jeff
Jeff – Happy Birthday!
Your love is a gift that energizes the planet. There are so many humans that are blessed by your friendship and are grateful today that they know you.
For the last thirty-three years my life has been shared with yours. One of my first childhood memories is of visiting you in the hospital the day you were born. Dad held me on his shoulders so that I could watch you sleeping behind the glass. I remember shaking with excitement.
As children I remember wrestling on the ground, our parents warning me that some day you might actually be stronger than me and of course one day you were and the wrestling ceased, of course. I remember the day you were actually taller than me too.
As a teenager I was pretty lost. I had no direction to offer you and there are some things that we shared that I wish we didn’t have to; but, thank God we got to talk about everything that went on back then there are no regrets.
As young adults, you amazed me with your fearless spirit. Surrounded by friends and comrades you traveled, studied, snowboarded, appreciated music and had a great time. You were able to set goals and accomplish them; you were unwilling to settle for mediocrity.
After graduating from CU in Boulder, CO you moved to New York City and you told me that you still wanted to work on Wall Street and that you really wanted a family. Of course, you got everything that you wanted there. You met your life partner and got an awesome job on Wall Street. You even had a beautiful baby boy. I was so happy for you as I watched all of your dreams come true.
As adults we became close friends. We relived our lives together over lengthy phone conversations. We continued to share our feelings and our hopes in an increasingly open way. We would find ourselves on the phone for an hour at a time. You are so easy to talk to.
Since your transition the tears that I have shed astound me. Knowing that the grief that I experience is simply a manifestation of the love in my heart is of some comfort but it doesn’t bring you back. I wish that you were still here because I know that you wanted more than anything to raise your son. You took such pride in your role as a father. I remember you saying that last Father’s Day was the best day of your life. Thank you Sarah for making that happen.
I can only speak for myself – but it has been difficult to look back on the times when you were sick. I appreciated Travis so much for being there with Jeff in the hospital by his side and for writing the way that he did about Jeff’s last days. I wish that it were still posted. Travis is an awesome friend. Thank you Travis.
Jeff has so many close friends (Pat, Nathan, Mike R., Tyson) were among his closest in OKC and were there for him in the hospital. Thank you.
He considered Matt McCaffree his brother who was there for him in countless ways. Now I consider Matt my brother too. Thank you for all of the phone conversations and support.
Thank you Sara McCaffree (Saffree) for getting this going, you were my best friend in elementary school and I still love you. Thank you for the support and love you have extended to me and my family.
Thank you to Dr.’s Bob and Mary Anne McCaffree for having the lovely memorial party and for being there for my family in the hospital and at home during our most difficult hours.
Thank you Mom for sharing your cancer support information with me so that I didn’t have to grieve alone. We are not alone.
Thank you Mom and Dad for encouraging the relationships that I have with my siblings. Thank you for teaching me to value them. What a precious, precious gift you gave the world when you participated in the creation of Jeffrey Donald. Thank you.
Your love is a gift that energizes the planet. There are so many humans that are blessed by your friendship and are grateful today that they know you.
For the last thirty-three years my life has been shared with yours. One of my first childhood memories is of visiting you in the hospital the day you were born. Dad held me on his shoulders so that I could watch you sleeping behind the glass. I remember shaking with excitement.
As children I remember wrestling on the ground, our parents warning me that some day you might actually be stronger than me and of course one day you were and the wrestling ceased, of course. I remember the day you were actually taller than me too.
As a teenager I was pretty lost. I had no direction to offer you and there are some things that we shared that I wish we didn’t have to; but, thank God we got to talk about everything that went on back then there are no regrets.
As young adults, you amazed me with your fearless spirit. Surrounded by friends and comrades you traveled, studied, snowboarded, appreciated music and had a great time. You were able to set goals and accomplish them; you were unwilling to settle for mediocrity.
After graduating from CU in Boulder, CO you moved to New York City and you told me that you still wanted to work on Wall Street and that you really wanted a family. Of course, you got everything that you wanted there. You met your life partner and got an awesome job on Wall Street. You even had a beautiful baby boy. I was so happy for you as I watched all of your dreams come true.
As adults we became close friends. We relived our lives together over lengthy phone conversations. We continued to share our feelings and our hopes in an increasingly open way. We would find ourselves on the phone for an hour at a time. You are so easy to talk to.
Since your transition the tears that I have shed astound me. Knowing that the grief that I experience is simply a manifestation of the love in my heart is of some comfort but it doesn’t bring you back. I wish that you were still here because I know that you wanted more than anything to raise your son. You took such pride in your role as a father. I remember you saying that last Father’s Day was the best day of your life. Thank you Sarah for making that happen.
I can only speak for myself – but it has been difficult to look back on the times when you were sick. I appreciated Travis so much for being there with Jeff in the hospital by his side and for writing the way that he did about Jeff’s last days. I wish that it were still posted. Travis is an awesome friend. Thank you Travis.
Jeff has so many close friends (Pat, Nathan, Mike R., Tyson) were among his closest in OKC and were there for him in the hospital. Thank you.
He considered Matt McCaffree his brother who was there for him in countless ways. Now I consider Matt my brother too. Thank you for all of the phone conversations and support.
Thank you Sara McCaffree (Saffree) for getting this going, you were my best friend in elementary school and I still love you. Thank you for the support and love you have extended to me and my family.
Thank you to Dr.’s Bob and Mary Anne McCaffree for having the lovely memorial party and for being there for my family in the hospital and at home during our most difficult hours.
Thank you Mom for sharing your cancer support information with me so that I didn’t have to grieve alone. We are not alone.
Thank you Mom and Dad for encouraging the relationships that I have with my siblings. Thank you for teaching me to value them. What a precious, precious gift you gave the world when you participated in the creation of Jeffrey Donald. Thank you.
January 27, 2008
Today would have been Jeff's 33rd birthday and an almost constant reminder has been running through my head this week. One impulse is to treat it like a solemn experience and to think about what Jeff meant to me, all of the wonderful experiences we shared and our time together. Another, which I'm going to try today, is to use this day to look forward while being mindful of the lessons I learned through our friendship.
My day is pretty simple - go for a ride and make dinner for some friends - but these are simple things that I don't make the time for often enough. I hope some of you can take the time to focus on what's valuable to you and let the people close to you know how important they are.
Thank you all for your friendship.
My day is pretty simple - go for a ride and make dinner for some friends - but these are simple things that I don't make the time for often enough. I hope some of you can take the time to focus on what's valuable to you and let the people close to you know how important they are.
Thank you all for your friendship.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Need Your Addresses
Hi everyone,
The DVD will be ready soon. Please send me your snail mail addresses and I'll get it to you as soon as I'm done.
Matt
The DVD will be ready soon. Please send me your snail mail addresses and I'll get it to you as soon as I'm done.
Matt
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