Saturday, September 27, 2008
Bob Carpenter
It's been a while since I've posted or even been in touch with many of you, but I wanted to let you know that Bob Carpenter, Donna's husband and Jeff's step-father, recently lost his battle with cancer. Please keep him and Donna in you prayers.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A Couple of Add-Ons
I got bored and started messing around with blogspot. I have added a counter at the bottom of the page. Mainly for my own curiosity. I always wonder how often people come here to see if any new posts have been put up. The second is the slideshow on the left. I unfortunately don't have a whole lot of pics of Jeff, but I put up the few I did. We can always add to it or change them all together.
With a year gone by, there isn't a day I don't think of Jeff. The night Jeff passed and I received the phone call at 1AM to come to the hospital, I stood in the driveway staring up at the stars for what seemed like an eternity. Ever since, every time I look up at the stars I think of him and wonder what should have been.
Till next time,
Tyson
With a year gone by, there isn't a day I don't think of Jeff. The night Jeff passed and I received the phone call at 1AM to come to the hospital, I stood in the driveway staring up at the stars for what seemed like an eternity. Ever since, every time I look up at the stars I think of him and wonder what should have been.
Till next time,
Tyson
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
This Past Year
Props to you, Michelle. You know I am proud of you. It is so easy to get stuck in ambivalence. However, losing someone close to our hearts makes us realize that we don't have forever to make things better for ourselves, we need to make our "now" everything it can be, not put all of our hopes into tomorrows we may not even have. This is one of the gifts we get from this pain.
Having both parents being diagnosed with cancer this past year since Jeff's passing was pretty tough. But then losing Dad after he had made it through chemo and radiation to complete remission really blindsided me. You wouldn't think that I could take days, months or years for granted with my career as an oncology nurse .... but somehow it just happens.
I love you all. I thank each of you that prayed for my family and me this year. I couldn't have done it without you "old school" friends that really stepped up to the plate.
Thanks again, Jeff, for managing to get all of us back together again. Still wish you could have been there. You'd have really dug the memorial.
We all need to get together again before we have to do it for another huge loss in our hearts. I am game for where/whenever.
Love,
Kerri Z
Having both parents being diagnosed with cancer this past year since Jeff's passing was pretty tough. But then losing Dad after he had made it through chemo and radiation to complete remission really blindsided me. You wouldn't think that I could take days, months or years for granted with my career as an oncology nurse .... but somehow it just happens.
I love you all. I thank each of you that prayed for my family and me this year. I couldn't have done it without you "old school" friends that really stepped up to the plate.
Thanks again, Jeff, for managing to get all of us back together again. Still wish you could have been there. You'd have really dug the memorial.
We all need to get together again before we have to do it for another huge loss in our hearts. I am game for where/whenever.
Love,
Kerri Z
Sunday, July 6, 2008
How many days have passed?
Hey all, as I sit here tonight, dwelling on time past, it dawns on me that almost a year has gone by. I can't even believe it. I still have Jeff's obituary sitting on my desk as if it were last week. My life has been in complete upheaval since Jeff's departure. I don't know how many of you know this but Jeff is in part responsible for the happiness that I experience today.
I told Kris that I was leaving him last July and found out almost simultaneously of Jeff's deteriorating condition. It was such a surreal time for me, trying to deal with both. In addition, I had so many people that I loved coming back in to my life after years of separation, both voluntary and involuntary. Some of you that I hold very dear and hadn't seen in so long came back in like a whirlwind, utter disregard for past differences or time spent apart as if not a day had passed. It was this horrifying yet sadly happy time in my life. Being back in Oklahoma made me realize that this is where I needed to be and Jeff gave me an excuse to come here in the first place.
I never went back to Oregon. I am back home, divorced, and happier than I have been in a very long time. My child has adjusted to two homes and her dad and I have both moved on. Life never ceases to amaze me. It isn't perfect. I don't get the pain. I don't understand the loss. I don't know how to explain to my three year old why things can be really super shitty but it is what it is and in every thing that is bad, there is always something good, even if it is just that our friend is in a better place...wherever that may be. I wonder daily but know that some day I will find out first hand. His smile was and still is infectious. I can see it in my mind and it brings a smile to my face as I type.
I love you all. You are amazing people. We are SO lucky. Which brings me to my next question....When are we getting together? Next month at Texoma??
Peace.
I told Kris that I was leaving him last July and found out almost simultaneously of Jeff's deteriorating condition. It was such a surreal time for me, trying to deal with both. In addition, I had so many people that I loved coming back in to my life after years of separation, both voluntary and involuntary. Some of you that I hold very dear and hadn't seen in so long came back in like a whirlwind, utter disregard for past differences or time spent apart as if not a day had passed. It was this horrifying yet sadly happy time in my life. Being back in Oklahoma made me realize that this is where I needed to be and Jeff gave me an excuse to come here in the first place.
I never went back to Oregon. I am back home, divorced, and happier than I have been in a very long time. My child has adjusted to two homes and her dad and I have both moved on. Life never ceases to amaze me. It isn't perfect. I don't get the pain. I don't understand the loss. I don't know how to explain to my three year old why things can be really super shitty but it is what it is and in every thing that is bad, there is always something good, even if it is just that our friend is in a better place...wherever that may be. I wonder daily but know that some day I will find out first hand. His smile was and still is infectious. I can see it in my mind and it brings a smile to my face as I type.
I love you all. You are amazing people. We are SO lucky. Which brings me to my next question....When are we getting together? Next month at Texoma??
Peace.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Need your Addresses
Hi everyone,
The DVD will be ready soon. Please send me your snail mail addresses and I'll get it to you as soon as I'm done.
Matt
Originally posted 1-15-08
Man, that snail mail is really slowwwwwwwwwwwww.
The DVD will be ready soon. Please send me your snail mail addresses and I'll get it to you as soon as I'm done.
Matt
Originally posted 1-15-08
Man, that snail mail is really slowwwwwwwwwwwww.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
More to say...as Jeff's sister
Today my heart has been more grateful and less sorrowful as I think about all of the lives Jeff touched.
There are so many people that I want to thank just because I am so grateful. Everyone who has participated on this website - thank you, Jeff would have dug this.
Everyone that attended the memorial in honor of Jeff - thank you for showing up, I think that Jeff was happy to see you there.
To all of Jeff's friends in Colorado, especially Kay, thank you for remembering Jeff. He spoke of you often. I know you all had a really great time together.
For everyone in NYC that supported Jeff and his family thank you. This includes his coworkers at Lehman Brothers and the many friends that he made there.
There are many people that I haven't thought to thank but I am pretty tenacious and if it comes to me I will!
There are so many people that I want to thank just because I am so grateful. Everyone who has participated on this website - thank you, Jeff would have dug this.
Everyone that attended the memorial in honor of Jeff - thank you for showing up, I think that Jeff was happy to see you there.
To all of Jeff's friends in Colorado, especially Kay, thank you for remembering Jeff. He spoke of you often. I know you all had a really great time together.
For everyone in NYC that supported Jeff and his family thank you. This includes his coworkers at Lehman Brothers and the many friends that he made there.
There are many people that I haven't thought to thank but I am pretty tenacious and if it comes to me I will!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Happy Birthday Jeff
Jeff – Happy Birthday!
Your love is a gift that energizes the planet. There are so many humans that are blessed by your friendship and are grateful today that they know you.
For the last thirty-three years my life has been shared with yours. One of my first childhood memories is of visiting you in the hospital the day you were born. Dad held me on his shoulders so that I could watch you sleeping behind the glass. I remember shaking with excitement.
As children I remember wrestling on the ground, our parents warning me that some day you might actually be stronger than me and of course one day you were and the wrestling ceased, of course. I remember the day you were actually taller than me too.
As a teenager I was pretty lost. I had no direction to offer you and there are some things that we shared that I wish we didn’t have to; but, thank God we got to talk about everything that went on back then there are no regrets.
As young adults, you amazed me with your fearless spirit. Surrounded by friends and comrades you traveled, studied, snowboarded, appreciated music and had a great time. You were able to set goals and accomplish them; you were unwilling to settle for mediocrity.
After graduating from CU in Boulder, CO you moved to New York City and you told me that you still wanted to work on Wall Street and that you really wanted a family. Of course, you got everything that you wanted there. You met your life partner and got an awesome job on Wall Street. You even had a beautiful baby boy. I was so happy for you as I watched all of your dreams come true.
As adults we became close friends. We relived our lives together over lengthy phone conversations. We continued to share our feelings and our hopes in an increasingly open way. We would find ourselves on the phone for an hour at a time. You are so easy to talk to.
Since your transition the tears that I have shed astound me. Knowing that the grief that I experience is simply a manifestation of the love in my heart is of some comfort but it doesn’t bring you back. I wish that you were still here because I know that you wanted more than anything to raise your son. You took such pride in your role as a father. I remember you saying that last Father’s Day was the best day of your life. Thank you Sarah for making that happen.
I can only speak for myself – but it has been difficult to look back on the times when you were sick. I appreciated Travis so much for being there with Jeff in the hospital by his side and for writing the way that he did about Jeff’s last days. I wish that it were still posted. Travis is an awesome friend. Thank you Travis.
Jeff has so many close friends (Pat, Nathan, Mike R., Tyson) were among his closest in OKC and were there for him in the hospital. Thank you.
He considered Matt McCaffree his brother who was there for him in countless ways. Now I consider Matt my brother too. Thank you for all of the phone conversations and support.
Thank you Sara McCaffree (Saffree) for getting this going, you were my best friend in elementary school and I still love you. Thank you for the support and love you have extended to me and my family.
Thank you to Dr.’s Bob and Mary Anne McCaffree for having the lovely memorial party and for being there for my family in the hospital and at home during our most difficult hours.
Thank you Mom for sharing your cancer support information with me so that I didn’t have to grieve alone. We are not alone.
Thank you Mom and Dad for encouraging the relationships that I have with my siblings. Thank you for teaching me to value them. What a precious, precious gift you gave the world when you participated in the creation of Jeffrey Donald. Thank you.
Your love is a gift that energizes the planet. There are so many humans that are blessed by your friendship and are grateful today that they know you.
For the last thirty-three years my life has been shared with yours. One of my first childhood memories is of visiting you in the hospital the day you were born. Dad held me on his shoulders so that I could watch you sleeping behind the glass. I remember shaking with excitement.
As children I remember wrestling on the ground, our parents warning me that some day you might actually be stronger than me and of course one day you were and the wrestling ceased, of course. I remember the day you were actually taller than me too.
As a teenager I was pretty lost. I had no direction to offer you and there are some things that we shared that I wish we didn’t have to; but, thank God we got to talk about everything that went on back then there are no regrets.
As young adults, you amazed me with your fearless spirit. Surrounded by friends and comrades you traveled, studied, snowboarded, appreciated music and had a great time. You were able to set goals and accomplish them; you were unwilling to settle for mediocrity.
After graduating from CU in Boulder, CO you moved to New York City and you told me that you still wanted to work on Wall Street and that you really wanted a family. Of course, you got everything that you wanted there. You met your life partner and got an awesome job on Wall Street. You even had a beautiful baby boy. I was so happy for you as I watched all of your dreams come true.
As adults we became close friends. We relived our lives together over lengthy phone conversations. We continued to share our feelings and our hopes in an increasingly open way. We would find ourselves on the phone for an hour at a time. You are so easy to talk to.
Since your transition the tears that I have shed astound me. Knowing that the grief that I experience is simply a manifestation of the love in my heart is of some comfort but it doesn’t bring you back. I wish that you were still here because I know that you wanted more than anything to raise your son. You took such pride in your role as a father. I remember you saying that last Father’s Day was the best day of your life. Thank you Sarah for making that happen.
I can only speak for myself – but it has been difficult to look back on the times when you were sick. I appreciated Travis so much for being there with Jeff in the hospital by his side and for writing the way that he did about Jeff’s last days. I wish that it were still posted. Travis is an awesome friend. Thank you Travis.
Jeff has so many close friends (Pat, Nathan, Mike R., Tyson) were among his closest in OKC and were there for him in the hospital. Thank you.
He considered Matt McCaffree his brother who was there for him in countless ways. Now I consider Matt my brother too. Thank you for all of the phone conversations and support.
Thank you Sara McCaffree (Saffree) for getting this going, you were my best friend in elementary school and I still love you. Thank you for the support and love you have extended to me and my family.
Thank you to Dr.’s Bob and Mary Anne McCaffree for having the lovely memorial party and for being there for my family in the hospital and at home during our most difficult hours.
Thank you Mom for sharing your cancer support information with me so that I didn’t have to grieve alone. We are not alone.
Thank you Mom and Dad for encouraging the relationships that I have with my siblings. Thank you for teaching me to value them. What a precious, precious gift you gave the world when you participated in the creation of Jeffrey Donald. Thank you.
January 27, 2008
Today would have been Jeff's 33rd birthday and an almost constant reminder has been running through my head this week. One impulse is to treat it like a solemn experience and to think about what Jeff meant to me, all of the wonderful experiences we shared and our time together. Another, which I'm going to try today, is to use this day to look forward while being mindful of the lessons I learned through our friendship.
My day is pretty simple - go for a ride and make dinner for some friends - but these are simple things that I don't make the time for often enough. I hope some of you can take the time to focus on what's valuable to you and let the people close to you know how important they are.
Thank you all for your friendship.
My day is pretty simple - go for a ride and make dinner for some friends - but these are simple things that I don't make the time for often enough. I hope some of you can take the time to focus on what's valuable to you and let the people close to you know how important they are.
Thank you all for your friendship.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Need Your Addresses
Hi everyone,
The DVD will be ready soon. Please send me your snail mail addresses and I'll get it to you as soon as I'm done.
Matt
The DVD will be ready soon. Please send me your snail mail addresses and I'll get it to you as soon as I'm done.
Matt
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