How many days have passed?

Hey all, as I sit here tonight, dwelling on time past, it dawns on me that almost a year has gone by. I can't even believe it. I still have Jeff's obituary sitting on my desk as if it were last week. My life has been in complete upheaval since Jeff's departure. I don't know how many of you know this but Jeff is in part responsible for the happiness that I experience today.

I told Kris that I was leaving him last July and found out almost simultaneously of Jeff's deteriorating condition. It was such a surreal time for me, trying to deal with both. In addition, I had so many people that I loved coming back in to my life after years of separation, both voluntary and involuntary. Some of you that I hold very dear and hadn't seen in so long came back in like a whirlwind, utter disregard for past differences or time spent apart as if not a day had passed. It was this horrifying yet sadly happy time in my life. Being back in Oklahoma made me realize that this is where I needed to be and Jeff gave me an excuse to come here in the first place.

I never went back to Oregon. I am back home, divorced, and happier than I have been in a very long time. My child has adjusted to two homes and her dad and I have both moved on. Life never ceases to amaze me. It isn't perfect. I don't get the pain. I don't understand the loss. I don't know how to explain to my three year old why things can be really super shitty but it is what it is and in every thing that is bad, there is always something good, even if it is just that our friend is in a better place...wherever that may be. I wonder daily but know that some day I will find out first hand. His smile was and still is infectious. I can see it in my mind and it brings a smile to my face as I type.

I love you all. You are amazing people. We are SO lucky. Which brings me to my next question....When are we getting together? Next month at Texoma??

Peace.